Comments on: My Struggle with Depression

By: Carolann

Carolann — Wed, 08 Dec 2010 03:23:00 +0000

The worst thing about depression is the fact that nobody understands it, so it is seen as a character flaw or even laziness. I am being treated now but it still rules my life, the only escape would be death. When you have depression, it pisses people off. My husband can't stand me because sometimes I can't act happy. People say, "you have a husband and grandbabies who love you how can you be depressed?" I say, would you ask a person with diabetes "you have a husband & grandbabies who love you, how can you have diabetes?" I don't know why I have it & I would give up both my legs to get rid of it, ask anyone with depression and they will tell you the same. I am a Christian & I go to church but I feel bad that the love of Jesus hasn't cured me. I just feel empty & worthless. It's been that way d it's since I was a kid and it's still that way at 46. It never goes away, just get's managed with pills.

By: mkanderson

mkanderson — Fri, 26 Feb 2010 11:51:52 +0000

Jamey: My rules are my life. Deciding ahead of time how to handle an emotional slump keeps me going. I've been known to snap out of it on the same day. Not something that would have happened to me a few years ago.

By: mkanderson

mkanderson — Fri, 26 Feb 2010 11:49:36 +0000

Karl: I've been lucky enough to end up with several good friends who either suffer or have suffered with depression. Just being able to talk straight to someone about it without any pretense is worth everything.

By: Karl Hakkarainen

Karl Hakkarainen — Fri, 26 Feb 2010 08:03:47 +0000

Thanks for this post (and to Tom for linking to it on Writer River (http://writerriver.com/).
I've been to this movie, too. I left full-time work in 2006 for treatment of depression. Although there are recommended treatment protocols (meds, CBT, ECT, and others), each of us gets to find a unique combination of therapies and techniques that work for us. And that's probably the hardest part, because the illness typically robs you of the ability to do the things that you need to do get well.
Somehow, though, most of us do improve, getting better, if not well.
One last observation – talking about depression, even with good friends, can be a real conversation stopper. Our listeners are sometimes afraid that they'll say the wrong thing and so say nothing, which is often harder to take. While we practice learning how to forgive ourselves for failings (real or imagined), we also get to practice forgiveness for our friends, who can be even more scared about our illness than we are.
Keep on keepin' on.

By: Jamey

Jamey — Fri, 26 Feb 2010 01:08:34 +0000

Thank you for sharing. I also suffer from depression and didn't find out that I even had a named problem until later in my life. I always described it as being on a roller coaster. However, this roller coaster never ended and thus I never could get off. Even so, I liked who I was on top of the hill and also on the even parts of the track. It was the diving lows that caused the worse times.

I'll jump forward some to the point where I too thought I was better. One day like a light switch, I wasn't. I found professional help and have worked through a lot. I'm commenting in hopes that people who are at that same point will not have to go through this, dare I say, false feeling of being better and all done with depression. Keep a check on it, work with it, through it and don't isolate yourself – seek help.

Thank you for sharing about the rules you follow. I have done the same, not calling them rules, but same idea. Thanks again for sharing!

By: mkanderson

mkanderson — Thu, 25 Feb 2010 22:17:40 +0000

Thanks. I agree. That's why I have my rules so I don't forget there's another side to life.

By: feadog

feadog — Thu, 25 Feb 2010 20:05:04 +0000

Brave post. I'm married to someone who has suffered from depression and we talk about it a lot. Unfortunately, it's one of those things that's almost impossible to talk about when you're really isolated and suffering. Which is why it's even more important to get these feelings down on paper (or on the blog) when you're feeling better — because that happier person is inside you, too.

By: mkanderson

mkanderson — Thu, 25 Feb 2010 19:54:18 +0000

Thanks, Tom. Me keeping non-structured hours was a contributing factor. Having a nightly routine where I read fiction and sleep did amazing things for me. I also gave myself permission to leave my blog as a work in progress so I don't catch myself up at 2:00 am working on it. I just focus on what's really important to me.

By: Tom Johnson

Tom Johnson — Thu, 25 Feb 2010 19:48:22 +0000

I really enjoyed reading your post. Depression is one of those tough things that's hard to figure out. I like your strategy of keeping rules of how things should be despite how you feel. For me, though I don't struggle with depression, I know that sleep deprivation often leads me to feeling overwhelmed. When I get good sleep, I'm on top of the world. But I always seem to forget that late at night.